‘Thought I’d let you know...

We have come to limits
that separate us from them
where the oceans play hide and seek
with the strings of your guitar
and my fingers move
touching outlines of your lips
playing the music of my love for you
but where is the love I have sought?
and where is the truth
that separates us from them
In my abode, down the gory rivers
that flow through my veins unto my heart
you flow, like music to my soul
and I drench my body in rain
that brings me so close to your essence
and sings our song
in memories of black and white moments
locked in my eyes
where the shadows loom over our pending fate
where the new beginnings await us
in disguise of white lies
so hold my hand and let my fear wash away
I am yet to be reborn
so hold my hand and let my nightmares disappear
for I have felt it
for you have let me, that non-other could
its the art of this silenced emotion
that only we have shared
and the rest are lost
so let the new beginning be newer
let this feeling stay forever,
for I am but only a sinner
who holds her prayers and nothing else
I will live, I will die and I will survive
Let us wait for the shores to come to us
where our footprints will leave mark
of what is yet to come
‘Thought I’d let you know
that one day I hope to walk
hand in hand with you
upon those very shores thinking
“I’m glad I took this chance
for I have now that no other soul does
and that is you”

31-12-05

The arrows, the hearts

Your hollow words suck
The arrows, the hearts
and the vending machines
went all fucking bust
Ha, the mockery of our love
and the ancient scribbles of your zest
that termites ate
and finished off right in front of my eyes
Ha, the holding hands
and the scissors that cut my fingers
I carry your child within me
but the fetus won’t grow
and my belly keeps cursing
“You fucking virgin!”
The anger doesn’t cease,
the love doesn’t flow
the passion doesn’t die
it’s only my heart that stops
and casts spells on my mind
“you stupid bitch!”
Don’t judge me wrong,
for I stay within my senses
It’s the rest of the world
that fucks around
so come along my dear
and sing with me
“the arrows, the hearts
and the heavenly angels....
mmm... rescue my heart
but nevermind the beats”
I am a follower
but have no faith
I am a mother
but have no child
I am a lover
but have no heart
so come along my love
and sing with me
“the arrows, the hearts
and my pathetic sighs
la la la... see my strong eyes
with the arrows, the hearts...”
25-12-05

A cliché of our misery

Clouds burst open to accommodate your fear
Heavens spread their wings to carry your sorrow
I have left sign upon sign
yet you fail to see through my wisdom
Travelers scavenged upon my lust
and all you got was their dirty lies
despair not my love for I speak for my heart
I speak for my mind
and I speak for you
do not let their words beguile you
It is I who speaks truth and nothing but the truth
How shall I forget the essence of your memories
for the rain reminded her of him
and each drop carried a tear of her fall
Who shall I post my love letters to now
for your voice has ceased to exist
or is it the ruckus that my silence make?
Her eyes have shut their doors
Only the deception seeps in
So let us celebrate, you and I
two lovers in disguise
waltzing around our perfect ring
yet they are the ones hiding behind their masks
letting us weep for what is yet to take place
we write yet again a cliché of our misery
only to be thrown out of our own guild
and reminisce with sorrow
over what never really happened
But remember so, even in the darkest of your paths
that I shall remain your guiding light
and behold you towards the better unknown
So let us uncover the veil and let them see the strong you
speak to me as I speak to you
and we shall conquer our clichés
only to write the new beginnings
23/12/05

So Much In Love

My heart whispers
Thy name in its full bloom
As it burns and yearns for thy glimpse
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

Shadows of my nights
Wait upon river banks in silence
For thy starry eyes for there is no light but thee
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

I long to be seen
Mirrored in verdant green of thy eyes
For my soul hast not known such beauty before
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

I await for thy perilous seas
To devour my boat
For I sail out on my heart wanting to be submerged
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

Forlorn is my valley
Until thy full moon blossoms upon my hills
And seize my barren landscapes with silvery bliss
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

Pour into my soul
Thy spirit of love and carry me unto heaven
For I seek eternity in worship of thee
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

Ah the chastity of my heart,
Travels far beyond the wisdom of my mind
That it shall not beat but beat only for thee
Ay, tis not love, then what must it be?

Such is the sate of my existence
that life itself is a false pretence without thy love
so I wait in anticipation for the sound of thy footsteps
Ay, tis love and I, so much in love

10.11.05

Sweet Scent of December

In colour of soft golden light
where the amber of your skin shines
in silvery shadows of dawn
reflected upon starry waters
ricocheted from clear blue skies
lost in the deep green of yours eyes
beheld by your gentle gaze
echoed through the deepest cores of your heart
in the very sweetness of air drawn from your lungs
breathed through your lips
felt by the touch of your finger tips
shivering in the cold melodies of your tongue
as it touches the porcelain plains of softness
where your name echoes...
where you have claimed,
where every breath, every heart beat
and every ounce of emotion belongs to you
being reborn in every inch
as it clings to your warmth
and whispers its euphoria
bruised with aches of longing
drowned in your love
at last devoured in your essence
in you...

my body... ablaze in its need
with sweet scent of December

04.11.05

Sweet whispers of sorrow

As we convoke
along river banks
the water runs anti-clockwise
and the birds wail out
sweet whispers of sorrow
that you are my beloved
and I, a saint
in worship
of you
in search of heaven and hell
in need of all eternity
where the old sounds of siren
echo and die
and I begin my journey
unto you
in
sweet whispers of sorrow
I search for you
knowing you are
where my heart is...
22.10.05

Untitled

When confusion begins,
I am my reticent self again
tired of your bullshit vows
dying for another ending phase
so many thoughts
and so many beings
captured in my mind
yet all that echoes through me
is my silent self
hold me within
where shadows disappear
and your prayers brighten my days
through endless circle of dust
and hurricanes in disguise
where they hang me on cross
and darken my wisdom of you
save me through your prayers
and bring me to myself
spirit upon spirit
as the birds begin to fly
in gardens of my silence
and so I shall speak again
when confusion ends.
06.06.05

Verdant Dream

Here is a verdant dream
Among shadows of blackness
I shall only have a dream
That beholds the sight of my beloved…

The sway of time
In those hours spent with you…
The sweet nostalgia
Of that “being with you”…
The whispering echoes
Of your soft laughter…
And the thoughts
Of our journey together…
Holds me within
As such I am born
With each new moment
Only to be held
By the gaze of your heart
For long
And forever…

Here is a verdant dream
I shall sit by the window
And look upon only
What beholds the sight of you…

04-10-05 – 05-10-05

Blue Butterfly

Like a blue butterfly
Of your favourite colour
That same girl was there
Thinking I am her,
In your dreams where our destinies reside
Where hopes fall like snow
Dressed in white,
Like that same girl
Thinking I am her,
And you shall come my way
Where the rain falls
Like droplets of dew
And the taste of my lips shall remain
On your fingertips
Where I touched your soul
And vanished among whispering shadows
Letting you wander
Thinking I am her
I am where I was before
I am waiting
For that moment
And how you shall come
And how you shall call
My name
But you never let me go
As you held onto my sheets
Lifting me off my feet
Into your arms
Reclaiming your possession
Where I belonged
Thinking I am her
That same girl was there
Like a blue butterfly
Of your favourite colour
In your arms
Yours…

28.09.05

Dragon Flies

I once wrote
on the walls
of my diary
“… left me walking in circles,
… alone”
he needed not look
behind the curtains of dreams
where a little girl hopped around
in her white frock
chasing the dragon flies
Now it is I
who has taken those curtains off
Now the dreams fall
before my open eyes,
and I see…
I see you and I
with our dreams
in the palms of our hands
mingled in rainbow colours
as we hold each other
There is only you and I…
…. us
in the world of colours
and you grab my hand
and say
“Look Asima, a dragon fly…”
… come and have a peek,
there is a boy and a girl
running around
chasing the dragon flies.

26.09.05

Untitled

It’s the sound of violins
and the inspiration
from your heart
It’s the warmth of your eyes
and the sweetness of your lips
that echoes within me

... singing that song

And I am sung...
through your heart

24.09.05

Untold

It is, my love
the sirens of silence
It is the sound
of him and I
through our eyes
that pierce our body
and touch the very depth
of our souls
It is, my love
the sweetness of distance
between him and I
that brings us so much closer
through the open doors
of my dreams
and binds us within
It is, my love
in equanimity of his eyes
where the verdant landscape springs
with touch of an autumn
as I find myself swayed
deeper in that paradise
where my tranquility begins
and ends
It is, my love
the sound of something
unknown to my ears before,
the vision of something
unseen to my eyes before,
an emotion of some sort
that cannot be told.

28.08.05

When I am cast off your shores

Where shall it be when the two of us convoke in our own meaningless ways? Perhaps it will be around the corners of my smile. Perhaps it will be in the depths of my grief. How shall I greet thee, with a wounded heart and a shattered dream? Perhaps it is the shame of my hopes that has left me hopeless. Perhaps it is the nihility of my brimmed emotions that spill out with thoughts of thee.

I shall look up above heavens and question “When I am cast off your shores, what shall I do?” And our God shall answer “Speak because I hear you…”

08-08-05

Untitled

I’m bleeding in and out
with my fucking innocence
drinking your pain
slashed to pieces
like glass
I’m a victim of my own ignorance
thrown out of the window
among ripped curtains of your indifference
but you didn’t know…
You hurt those soft corners
of my belief
and came out my strong self
you questioned my morals
and came out all those answers
that I had asked you
you let me fall once
and I’ve risen up again
a thousand times higher
you weren’t the answer
to all my prayers
You weren’t the dream
I wanted to have
I will not let you see
what I have become
for my achievements
are only for me to savour
only for you to suffer,
and I stand here today
looking down at you
pitting you,
for that’s all you deserve
that’s all you’d ever have
Nothing

02.08.05

Untitled

Let yourself be my shore
where I shall crash like a wave
and seek shelter from deep dark ocean

Let yourself be my river
where I shall swim like a fish
safe from what lies above

Let yourself be my sky
where I shall fly like a bird
caged in freedom of your infinity

Let yourself be my candle
where I shall spend away like a moth
with you being my only light

Let yourself be my breath of life
and I shall live like a worshiper
breathing you within, I shall gain eternity…

26-07-05

Untitled

Inspiration
.
.
.
entangled in soft plains of her porcelain skin
caught in sweet whispers of her obsidian eyes
he drinks from oceans of her heart
and crashes like a resilient tide
against shores of his own need
.
.
.

Obsession
.
.
.
burning inside out
like a fire that never ceases
she melts and showers like a rainfall
pouring her rivers within him
and he drowns
.
.
.

Worship
.
.
.
Intertwined in her path
like a myrmidon he follows sweet scent of heavens
kneeling before him as she whispers
‘Speak me in your prayers my love,
and I shall hear you in mine…’
.
.
.

25-07-05

Silent City

O’ my sweetest love
What must we do?
These are such times
When the passers by
have ceased to come
Not a single footstep
echoes in the silent city of our heart

O’ my sweetest love
What must we do?
The winds have ceased to exist
Even the dust settled long ago
has vanished without a trace
erasing memories of our short lived past

O’ my sweetest love
What must we do?
Such is our fate
that will not let it be
Yet our eyes gaze out in constant agony
towards the paths
where his feet once tread upon our hopes

O’ my sweetest love
What must we do?
He knows, he is aware,
he is the keeper of our city
whose very pillars of existence
stand alive
at the mercy of his glimpse

O’ my sweetest love
What must we do?
So forlorn is the ambience
Even our own voice refuses
to echo in our ears
So silent is the city of our heart

23.05.2004

Untitled

Your touch…
felt
drunk…
drowned within,
in sweet whispers of your symphonies
your fingers
around curves of my skin
feeling my songs
inside my bones
playing with their strings
as of some beautiful instrument
burning inside
brushing as feathers
letting me melt within
in music of your lips
ethereal…
untangling threads of distance
with my lips
tasting ether of your nearness
shivering
with touch of eternity
of you…
lifting me off my body
letting me rest
where your soul resides
in you…

19.07.05

Untitled

When the moons have stopped circling
and the only star you were after
resides next to you
unreachable… unthinkable…
then you know what you have
and what you don’t have
you spread your wings
for that long flight
to touch shine of that divinity
and on the sails of sweet whispering breeze
you fly towards up above heavens
you climb toward the unknown
you climb toward victory
for whatever you strive for
it’s given to you
with your heart as eloquent as
the sound of holy words
and your prayers as worthwhile
as the visit to those sacred places
and you reach…
you reach where you deserved to be.

16.07.05

When I am cast off your shores of disguise, where shall I stand? Who shall I plea to? What shall my fate be?

Sometimes this far stretching space of time called life brings forth terrible endings... endings that mark better beginnings.

Asima S.

09.07.05

A passage from Umair faizullah's Poem

Tempt my fingers
To dance on your skin
Tempt them true
(Until) I’ve become you

Anxiety

I feel strange today. Perhaps it's the anxiety associated with so many things yet to happen in my little world. I am to start my new job on Monday plus other things. I am just... what is the word!

I feel strange today. I am not hoping for a good start. I am praying for it. Praying always helps. I would rather pray than just hope. I prayed today. I prayed for a lot of people I know. I prayed for their prosperity and success. I am sure once in a while they pray for me as well. I am sure they remember me in their prayers. Perhaps some of the good things that have happened to me is because they prayed for them to happen to me.

I feel strange today. There are things... thoughts circling around my mind and I cannot pen them down. They haven't yet taken the shape of words. I don't know yet what these things are. There is something that is bothering me. Yet I don't know what it is. Perhaps I'll find out soon. Perhaps I never will.

I feel strange today. I am not sad. But I am not exactly happy either. I guess this feeling is so subtle that even I cannot give it a name. It is something. And perhaps it's nothing. Even feeling nothing sometimes equates to feeling something.

I have written crap here. But even writing crap sometimes is good. So I'll keep writing...

I feel strange today...

Rivalries of emotions

Rivalries of emotions

Superfluous
for the sake of blasphemy
I am the name of your lust
I am the river of your sins
among threads of lies
tangled
and un-certain
like profane scribbling
among holiness
like perfidious companions
among the devote
I am the wisdom of your mind
I am the vice of your heart
scattered
like shattered pieces of glass
upon your path
where I tread
with bloodied feet
and satanic smile
I belonged to you
overshadowed
with your indifference
I break free
and I become...
among rivalries of emotions
I am the lessons of my own deeds
I am the moral of my own stories

08.07.05

How You Smile

How You Smile

I am bleeding in
feeling your pain
and how you smile
trapped among thousand pieces
and the blood keeps drizzling
like monsoon rain
and I am there
inside out
screaming your name
and how you smile
caged among your forgotten emotions
I am drained out like
like dead fish
with my open eyes
kissing you goodbye
and how you smile
left among decaying symphonies
like opera of my songs
where my love story ends
and I wonder when did it begin?
as you questioned me once
“what becomes of us?”
leaving me as confused
as drapery around my soul
and I am gone
like an open window
watching you smile
and how you smile

08.07.05

Fool’s Grave

Wrote this for Sarem... With Much Love... -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fool’s grave
In the cradle of my death
I hate writing with your hands
I hate thinking with your mind
I hate speaking with your tongue
Because all you have to offer
is a lie

Fool’s grave
In the backyard of my house
Do I bury my bones there as well?
Or do I hope for a better end?
I hate your fucking nerves
You bid me farewell
while I lie half naked in my confusions

Fool’s grave
In the barren plains of my heart
where I’ve buried more, resurrected a few
thinking I shall be dead
And follow your infant trail
while I walk unto oblivion
thinking you’re still here

Fool’s grave
In the spill of my dreams
around the corners of my memories
deepened in the earth of my thoughts
where you shall always live
And echo within my walls
“I am your biggest fan alive”

20.06.04

Love-ly

Whisper in your heart
where you held me so shallow
and like a dying fish I swam
toward your forgotten passages
...ended me deep with stabs of your lust
and I fell in love
touching with my burnt silk
and your curtains of flowing white
hiding wounds of my hope
yes my love, we remember our twitching
we remember our final night
as I held on to your broken sighs,
...as you let go off my screams
clutching your shirt beneath your oblivion
where you wore my favourite perfume
in my favourite restaurant
“My Lovely Asima” echoes,
just how you’d say it
...with only the ‘love-ly’ word
attached to my entire universe
...and I was yours
in those few breathless moments
when you levitated
letting me fall, I had touched the sky
with only ourselves to each other
wrapped around a fabric of broken threads
with your last kiss on my right cheek
with my last touch on your left arm
hand in hand, it was the sight to see
with twilights flickering
with stars shooting
...and our kisses became butterflies
flying high as my world ended
beneath their wings
and drapery around our souls vanished
I was left naked staring at your silent waters
where the ships dock and die
...ended our journey
ended me.
Yes, I remember,
once I was yours
...once I was lovely

13.03.05